Chapter 255 – The Days That Followed

Eneida’s POV

I don’t understand what happened last night. I went to sleep feeling nervous because Manasye told me that he and Fenrir would try to look into my subconsciousness to figure out what caused my gift to turn into the curse it is now.

And, to tell the truth…

I lied.

I was worried that they would find out I was never the real saintess to begin with. Just a monster mistaken for a saintess. And how I simply returned to my real self after my facade was seen through.

Maybe I should have told everyone the truth from the start, but I… was afraid of death.

So I lied and told everyone all this time that I was indeed a saintess, and that a mysterious force caused my power to get warped.

If Fenrir’s power was real, then… what would await me today?

Last night, my anxiety got so out of control that it made it hard to fall asleep, but…

For some reason, when I woke up, I didn’t feel as though I dreaded welcoming the new day and whatever awaited me.

I was still worried that Manasye, my very first friend, would look at me with a scornful gaze… but for some reason, my heart could only portray his smile and how reassuring it felt.

Not knowing why I had this shift in feeling confused me, but it worked out in the end, since it gave me the courage I needed to face Manasye, Fenrir, and Clavis again today.

I had once wished I could live a normal life, but I figured that was too far-fetched for me, so I buried that wish deep inside my heart.

But if I’m not allowed to wish for that, then…

Even if things change, as long as I can still stay alive and Manasye is willing to see me, I’m fine with this kind of life.

***

Later that day…

“…??”

I was utterly confused by my session with Fenrir, Manasye, and Clavis today.

I awaited our time together, fully expecting to hear the news about what Fenrir and Manasye had seen last night.

However, nobody uttered a word about it, and we went straight to our usual practice session.

I wanted to ask, but I kept hesitating.

There must be a reason why they acted as if nothing had happened, right? Is it a bad reason?

Should I have asked them first? But… I am afraid of the answer…

Maybe… It’s not a bad thing to keep things like this?

And so, I decided to continue acting as though nothing had happened.

Resuming our practice, I began to wonder…

Huh? If I am a monster and my facade as the saintess had ended when they found out… what’s the point of this training?

Could it be something else?

Or could it be that Manasye and Fenrir didn’t see anything or didn’t figure it out?

But they had faith in me and worked hard for me, so at least I should try my best not to let the plant they brought me wither…

I continued my daily life as it was.

The practice that Fenrir and Manasye taught before seemed to have an effect, albeit only a little.

It had been several days since they brought the same potted plant… and I hadn’t withered it yet.

The plant continued to stay alive and grow a bit, and that made me happy.

I wasn’t sure if it was because of that or not, but I found myself feeling more optimistic. My heart felt lighter each time I woke up.

I even felt a sense of relief, though I wasn’t sure why.

And today as well, I continued my practice with the same potted plant.

I could even go as far as embracing the plant’s pot, just observing it up close.

Today, I went to hug the potted plant again, and that was when I noticed…

“Oh… It’s formed a small bud of a flower?” I gasped in awe.

“You’re right. I didn’t think it could grow this fast…,” Manasye said in wonder.

I stared at the tiny yellow flower bud, so small and fragile.

There is only one bud, though. It must feel lonely…

If only this plant could grow more, and have other buds to accompany it…

Yes, like this…

“Eh?” I blinked hard.

I thought I was hallucinating, but…

“Whoa, did you see that? The plant just grew so quickly in the blink of an eye! Now we have a few flower buds!” Clavis exclaimed.

“O-oh—” I quickly set the potted plant aside and backed away.

I don’t want it to die! It’s grown this much, what if being with me caused it to wither now?

I’d be too heartbroken…

“Eneida? What’s the matter?” Manasye suddenly asked.

“I… Uhm, I feel like it has worked so hard to grow like this. If… If I accidentally caused it to wither…”

“But isn’t it you that caused this plant to grow so splendidly in such a short time?” Manasye suddenly asked.

“Eh… huh?” I opened my eyes and stared wide-eyed at the potted plant once more.

“For starters, I think this plant shouldn’t have grown a flower bud this fast,” Manasye said.

“Yeah, and it suddenly multiplied in such a short time. Like magic! So… I think it must have received your power,” Clavis added.

“It… did?” I tilted my head in wonder.

To be honest, I don’t know how plants normally grow…

I am so used to them growing fast like this, but if they say that it’s impossible for them to grow fast like this, then…

Is it really my power?

I gazed at my hands.

Then I shifted my gaze to the potted plant, thriving brilliantly.

That’s right. It had been in my hands for several days and hadn’t withered.

Instead, it had grown.

If I’m truly a monster who emits the stench of death… this shouldn’t be happening.

But why is this plant so green, and the buds so full of life?

I slowly reached out to the potted plant and cradled it in my arms again.

My eyes sparkled as I continued to admire the small plant that was full of life, right in my hands.

How nice would it be if I could see the flowers bloom?

“Ah–”

Just as I was imagining the flowers blooming, suddenly the flower buds started to bloom in front of my eyes.

“This… This… I made them bloom?!” I asked in wonder, now convinced of my own power.

I stretched the potted plant so that Manasye and the others could see it closer.

“Yes… yes, you did! It worked, it worked, Fenrir!!!” Manasye suddenly jumped and started dancing with a very unwilling Fenrir.

“Yes… maybe it’s time we call our night operation quits. All that remains is to continue this training until she’s fully confident in her control,” Fenrir said.

“Huh? Night operation?” I tilted my head in confusion.

“Uhm… That… Let me explain…,” Manasye stopped dancing, looking sheepish.

“I apologize for not telling you earlier, but… we’ve been visiting your subconscious through your dreams… to help you from within.”

“During the day, we work on your conscious mind. At night, we work on your subconscious. For better results,” Fenrir added.

“And you see…,” Manasye scratched his head, “It really did wonders… don’t you feel it?”

“Ah…”

I remembered the sense of relief I’d been feeling. I thought it was because of my training, but…

So it was because they helped me even while I slept.

My heart felt so warm.

“I actually wanted to tell you from the beginning, but you seemed scared to ask, so I decided to wait,” Manasye said uneasily.

“Ah…” So, it showed on my face, huh?

“We saw what happened. I identified the cause. Perhaps you’ve begun to realize it as well, but… you are not a monster. You are indeed a saintess,” Fenrir declared.

“…!”

How odd.

If I had heard those words before, I wouldn’t have believed them.

But now… for some reason, I could believe it. Maybe not fully, but I wanted to believe.

“As you may know, the Temple of Life’s saintess is blessed with the power of Life. But it doesn’t only bestow life—it can also take it away. It’s likely that people omitted that part, so the saintess would only believe in giving life, to avoid confusion or even an issue in controlling their power. Now that you know… you must learn to control both,” Fenrir explained.

I nodded.

Actually, now that we have the proof of this plant growing, I am convinced that I also have the ability to bestow life to others around me.

It is never lost in the first place. It wasn’t because my true monstrous power came out after my identity was found out.

I know about it now.

And I feel relieved.

There is hope.

But…

I am also feeling uneasy that I can’t really control my power well…

Ah, no wonder people decided to omit the true nature of my gift as the saintess.

It is indeed confusing to have the knowledge that I can give life, or I can suck it out as well.

And controlling it is hard, but…

“Let’s keep training, shall we?” Fenrir asked.

“Alright!” I nodded, more enthusiastic than before.

***

I did say that I was feeling more enthusiastic after seeing the flowers bloom under my will, but…

Several days later, I felt like I was losing my will.

Though I had improved dramatically that I could be in the same room with the others without making them feel nauseous at all, I somehow felt depressed.

“What’s wrong?” 

As if noticing my sour mood, Clavis asked.

He was right in front of me, without the detention bar in the way. 

“…,” I remained silent, not really wanting to answer that question.

“Maybe we should call it a day for now,” Fenrir said as he whisked away the little slime monster that was sticking to my leg.

My training for now was to be able to be in contact with the tame slime without making it feel sick. 

“…Mhm, I want to rest,” I said.

When I saw Fenrir and Clavis were about to leave the room, I suddenly called out to them.

“Uhm… Is Prince Manasye not coming again today?” I asked.

“Uh… Probably not…,” Clavis said with an awkward expression.

“B-but he will come tomorrow! If he can… if not, then the day after tomorrow, so…”

“…It’s okay. Thank you. See you tomorrow, Clavis, Fenrir…,” I said, trying my best to hide my dejection.

Right.

I knew I shouldn’t be too demanding, since Manasye is indeed a prince… Even before, he always tried to make time for me between his tight schedule.

But lately, he’s gotten even busier. Our time together had decreased dramatically.

Sometimes, I could see how tired he looked when he visited. So I never had the heart to ask for more.

Actually, I just want things to be the same. I want us to spend time together like before.

I wonder what changed…

Is it because I’m getting better? Maybe now he can finally rest and focus on other things.

But… what if he finds me annoying and that’s why he’s distancing himself?

That night, I couldn’t sleep.

Is he truly getting busier, or is he avoiding me?

Why, without a rhyme or reason, has he begun to drift away from me?

I just don’t understand.