Chapter 262 – It’s My Fault!

As Maiara blackened out, I felt like my consciousness was dragged down to who-knows-where.

In this odd space inside Maiara’s consciousness, I saw that there was a lone figure that seemed to be kneeling down, her hands hiding her face along with her flowing hair, and that figure was crying. 

As Fenrir and I approached that figure, I finally could tell what she was crying about. 

“It’s my fault… It’s all my fault…,” she kept repeating amidst her cries.

She seemed really broken, and that was all that she could repeat amidst her cries.

Hearing her cries and seeing her current state made me feel as if my heart was twisted. It was really saddening.

No wonder she unconsciously doesn’t want to face it…

Based on the bits of information I could piece together, apparently, Maiara was betrayed by her most trusted friend… and as a result, the fire incident could happen. In that fire incident, she lost her mother… As for the princess she was guarding, because she blackened out, her fate was unknown. 

And the only person that could be called princess… who might it be? 

At this point, I was around ninety percent sure that Maiara was Oriel’s guard!

But… 

For now, I wanted to be able to help Maiara, whether or not she really knew what became of Oriel. 

I squatted so my line of sight would line up with Maiara’s, if she were to not cover her face.

“Maiara-san… That’s not your fault at all,” I tried to convey my thoughts on the matter, being the person watching over what was happening.

“No… Had I not trusted her… had I been stronger… had I been more…!” Maiara continued to find reasons to blame herself.

“You were betrayed by someone you trusted. How could you see that coming?” 

“I… Someone told me something bad about Pilvi. Yet I brushed it off as a misunderstanding… and that it was a mistake she made in the past when she was younger and more impulsive. I dismissed it… because I blindly trusted her… when I shouldn’t have! I had been warned! I should have been more careful!!” Maiara said in frustration.

“…” 

I closed my eyes, trying to recall something.

“Trusting is better than doubting,” I said solemnly.

Maiara stopped crying and turned to look at me.

“Does this sentence ring a bell? It’s the sentence that you told Prince Manasye.”

“That… But that sentence is wrong. It’s better to doubt and be wary than be betrayed. Being betrayed by someone you trusted is worse than being attacked by an enemy. It might cost you everything. I was stupid to trust someone like that…,” Maiara said somberly. 

I took a deep breath as I tried to put words in order, trying to make sure that the words coming out of my mouth would convey it best.

“Trusting someone doesn’t make you stupid. It means you believed in the best version of them. When someone betrays you, it’s not proof that you were wrong to trust. It’s proof that they chose to destroy something precious, the bond you’ve built, and the trust you’ve put in them. Believing in someone is never a sin. Choosing to betray that belief is.”

Maiara looked at me, wide-eyed.

At this time, Fenrir stepped forward and spoke calmly.

“She’s right. You trusted because you chose to see the good in someone, and that choice reflects who you are. Believing in others requires kindness and courage. Betrayal, on the other hand, comes from someone who never truly trusted you to begin with–someone who assumes everyone is as doubtful as they are. It’s born from a suspicious mind… and a heart that can’t believe in others.”

“…!” 

As expected of Fenrir, he can convey what I want to tell Maiara, in better words!

Fenrir’s eyes locked with Maiara’s. He continued, “Do you really want to become like that? Someone who always doubts, who convinces herself that people are ugly inside, and that betrayal is justified because ‘they would have done the same’?”

Maiara’s eyes widened. It seemed as if she just realized something.

“I think Pilvi held that belief until the very end. She never faced her own flaws. Instead, she twisted the story to make you the one at fault. If you let doubt rule you, you’ll end up walking the same path. Is that what you want?” Fenrir concluded.

“…Now that I think of it… I was told by someone how they heard that Pilvi seemed to believe that my good deed was laced with ulterior motives, how I actually did it to hurt her, all under the guise of ‘helping her’. I never thought of that… she was the one who tried to hurt me under the guise of helping me… That…,” Maiara seemed to ruminate on Fenrir’s words and found how correct Fenrir’s words were.

“I thought Pilvi was just being slandered, or her drunk words misunderstood, yet now I understand that I was being told the truth. I… was too blind,” Maiara said.

“Hmm… Maybe you should leave room for doubt, sometimes. But not too much. Think of trust like opening a window, not a door you can’t close. When you open a window, you let the wind in. But don’t forget you’re allowed to protect yourself if the wind ends up turning too cold for you to bear,” Fenrir gave another piece of advice.

“…”

I sensed a weight that seemed to have lifted from Maiara’s shoulders.

However, the next second, I felt another feeling of heaviness and sadness.

“But… My mother’s gone because of me. And I don’t know what became of… my princess. As for my other loved ones… I don’t really have the courage to face everyone. I had wanted to help one of my loved ones, but… everything just took a turn for the worst. And the others remaining… I am not even sure if they are alive or not. If they are, I think they will resent me,” Maiara said weakly.

That is a lot to unpack… No wonder Maiara doesn’t have the courage to face everything. 

“First… About your mother, I’m sorry to hear that… But you know? I think a mother that loves their child will surely do everything in order to keep their child safe, including sacrificing their life. Your mother must have loved you so much to not hesitate to shield you and give her life in exchange for saving you. I’m sure she must be feeling sad to see you so agonized and blaming yourself over her choice to protect her dear child,” I said as I remembered my own mother’s face. 

I’m sure she will also do the same, if I were in Maiara’s position…

The thought made me tear up a bit.

I miss Mom… Is she doing alright? Is she worried sick that I took a reckless act? 

Surely by this time, our action would already be known. Too much time had passed. 

I hope she won’t be too worried about me and Alt-nii, with Freyr and Freyja by her side.

Fenrir also added, “It might be a bit different, but you were ready to sacrifice yourself to protect the princess you cherished. I think your mother would have felt the same.”

Hearing Fenrir’s words, Maiara widened her eyes.

It seemed like having a comparison that was easy to understand would make the person realize it faster. I should probably word it like Fenrir.

As expected of Fenrir!

“And… why don’t we find out what happened to the princess, together? You know, years have passed ever since that incident. If we were to wait longer, it would be even harder,” I said to Maiara.

“…,” Maiara still hesitated.

“I don’t know about your other loved ones, but we can find out what happened to them after you return. You won’t be alone. You have me, my friends, and… Prince Manasye. I’m sure he would be on the front line to defend you, should anyone dare to blame you. And… me and my friends will, too,” I added.

“But it’d be easier for me to live a blissful life in ignorance than…”

“Don’t you want to know what happened to the princess, and how your loved ones are doing, whether they are living well or not? Who knows, they might not blame you at all and want to see you?”

“That’s… I don’t think that’s possible…”

“How would we know if we never try? There is a 50% chance that you can reunite with them and be happy together. Sure, there is another 50% chance that it will end up in a bitter, painful outcome. But… we’ll be there for you,” I said.

The past me would agree with Maiara’s words. 

However, I have experienced gambling with the chance that I might have a happy life that I would love. And I received it. 

Sure, it wasn’t all happy moments. There were moments of pain that I didn’t want. But… if I could experience happiness despite all that, I think I could still go on.

And I want Maiara to do the same.

“…” Maiara seemed to hesitate, but I could feel that only a bit of hesitation remained.

How can I push her a bit more?

Ah, I know!

“Don’t you love Prince Manasye, Maiara-san?” I asked.

“I do,” Maiara answered quickly.

“He wishes for you to recover. Seeing you break free from the curse would make him happier than anything. And… I think your memories will be able to help Prince Manasye as well,” I said.

After all, Prince Manasye wishes for coexistence with the Oni. And if we can find the missing previous crown princess, Oriel, who’s also Manasye’s aunt, it will be the best scenario for everyone.

…I only hope she is still alive, and if we can help her, maybe she can convince Prince Manasye’s father, King Deus, so everything will end well.

I can’t imagine how Manasye would feel if his aunt were to fight with his father, but… 

I can only push forward and gamble with this chance. 

Even if she’s dead, maybe we can find something else to help with the current situation.

I know for one that war won’t do anyone good, so I hope things won’t escalate to it.

“………”

After a long pause, Maiara finally lifted her head.

This time, it seemed like she was finally resolute. Like she found her courage.

“You’re right. When did I become such a coward? When did I become such a pessimist? I was taught to face everything bravely. I have failed my late mother with my heart’s weakness…”

“It’s only natural since the incident must have left you with tremendous scar and trauma. That huge trauma can shatter even the bravest soldier,” Fenrir tried to comfort Maiara.

Right… All at once… 

She faced a fire that engulfed everything, perhaps the fire caused her to lose many loved ones. She must have felt like her mother died due to her. Then, it might all be because of the betrayal of someone she trusted a lot. 

It was just too much to take…

But with years passing by and with her living a life oblivious of her past, she must have found the courage to go on.

And new loved ones to protect and care for. 

I’m just glad Fenrir and I could remind her and convince her to try. 

Suddenly, the winds blew so fiercely, engulfing everything. I felt like I was about to get swept away, along with Fenrir.

The wind seemed to circulate with Maiara’s figure in the middle of it all.

Oddly enough, I didn’t find the wind uncomfortable despite it seemingly trying to sweep me and Fenrir away.

“Thank you, the two of you. Apologies for showing such an ugly side…,” Maiara said with a smile.

I wanted to respond, yet the wind made it impossible for me to open my mouth. Fenrir and I were already floating with the wind, as we got further and further from Maiara.

“Wait for me on the other side.”

That was the last thing I could hear from Maiara before I felt a sensation that I had been flung away from her subconscious.