Unedited version, chapter 4!
“Len, would you please wait for me tomorrow after school?
There’s something I’d like to talk to you…
Please come to the school’s backyard.
“… I wonder what’s it about…,” Len opened Gumi’s message while laying on the bed. It’s been his habit to check his mail as soon as he wakes up, as he rarely checks his cellphone during the night. Len twitched. Whatever, he thought, perhaps it’s about the lessons or trival matters, as what Gumi’d discuss with me.
Not so long after that, Len’s all prepared to go to school. Monotone, daily routines, he sighed as he walked his way to the school. He stopped a bit to think.
Hey… why don’t I take another route to school? It’s so boring to see the same scene, after all. An idea popped out in his head. So, he decided not to take the usual route—but the longer route, as he had more time this morning.
“ Ka-i-to! Sorry for making you wait!”
Len stopped. This voice. A girl’s voice. He remembers this voice. He knows the owner of the voice, so well. His pupils widened as he couldn’t believe what he saw as soon as he decided to take the other route. In front of him, a twin-tailed girl walked out of a lovely house, greeting the boy in gakuran (Japanese school uniform for boys). The girl smiled gently to the deep-blue haired boy. What a sweet atmosphere it is.
The girl turned around and noticed Len. She smiled awkwardly and waved at him before she walked away with the boy. Soon enough, Len couldn’t see both of their silhouette.
“Mi…ku,” Len couldn’t say anything. He was so shocked. He punched the nearest wall, “ Damn it! I couldn’t believe myself! Ahaha… stupid me… I should have known it—this is Miku’s house— and that’s also why I have never dared to take this route all this time!” His face became red—the tears flowed from his eyes—yet the tears wouldn’t fall down to his cheek. It’s the tears from the annoyance he felt over himself. Then, he turned back and walked the same route to his school.
I can’t concentrate at all during these lessons! I couldn’t help but to keep looking at Len, who is sitting in front of the row right now! Now that I think about it— I couldn’t sit beside him due to the seat rotation, but still, I’m happy that I can stalk—eh, I mean watch over Len without him noticing! Well—sometimes he turned back, and I’d have to quickly gaze around at something else. Yet there are some times when our eyes met! His stare and his sweet yet naughty smile can melt me!
Rin’s voice turned me back from my daydreaming.
“Y-yes…?” I replied quickly.
“ Oh my… so you didn’t hear what I just said?!” Rin grumbled.
“ Sorry, sorry…,” I chuckled. That’s right, it’s the lunch break already. My time is drawing near… Soon enough, I have to confess to Len. I can get goosebumps just by thinking about it. Would it be better if I canceled my confession…?
Catching a glimpse of my hesitation, Rin talked to me in a deep voice, “ You’re going to do it today, aren’t you?”
I panicked, “ Eh—euhm… I guess…?”
“ You’d better do it now. Don’t let your feelings get bottled up inside… I can’t stand watching you like this again— worrying about love,” she sighed.
I don’t want to worry it, too… I want to know his feelings, too…, I slurped my milk.
“ Okay then… whatever will be, will be.”
The bell rang. I couldn’t believe that it’s going to be this soon. My whole body is trembling, and I can feel the temperature of my body—is getting lower. I sweat a lot, but the sweat feels so cold. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen. I risk myself towards rejection… I don’t like rejection. But most people wouldn’t like rejection—and betrayal. The imagination of Len seeing Miku’s betrayal got into my mind for a second. That’s right, no one likes rejection and betrayal—and everyone is afraid of rejection, too. Yet if I can get the best scenario ever—then I think it’s worth taking a risk.
Rin waved to me as I am about to go out from the class. Go…od luck… I read her lips. I smiled at her, but I’m pretty sure she can notice my hesitation and my fear. I walked to the school’s backyard and waited there. Len is still attending a comitee meeting—and from what I heard, it’s not going to take that long.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. I wrote the kanji of a person on my palm and pretend to eat it—to erase my nerve. I can hear footsteps coming down. I opened my eyes slowly—then I saw him.
“ Sorry! Have you waited so long for me?” Len asked. I smiled awkwardly.
“ No, not at all… I just arrived here…,” I couldn’t look straight into his eyes.
“ So, what do you want to talk about?” he asked.
This is it…
“ I… I…,” I stammered.
How would you describe it? Our first meeting—we’ve been in one class for more than one time, yet it was the first time I ever really talked to him. It was all because I sat next to him. My first impression to him is—of course, typical boys. A bit naughty and half-hearted… I just knew him from what everyone has described.
I started to remember all my memories with him.
“ Since a long time, I…” Argh, I couldn’t say it clearly!!
As time passes by, I found myself falling heels over head for you. I didn’t know what made me like you. It all happened just like that. In the middle of our conversations, our time together… you’ve been shining to me. I have never felt this way before, so I became a bit confused. But then I realized what this feeling is. It’s love.
“ Len, I… to you…” Ah, I have to say it! I talked loudly—yet why it won’t come out clearly?! Len is going to be confused!
No matter how I tried to say to myself that this feeling won’t last and that I have to forget it—this love has grown stronger and I just couldn’t resist it. I like all of him. And this feeling drives me crazy. I got worried about how would he feel about me and some trivial things. It’s all because of love, isn’t it? But no matter how I tried to convey this feeling, I’ve never had the courage to. Now is the chance—or never.
“ Len, I’ve been liking you for a long time! Will you go out with me?”
Aah—finally I managed to say it all loud and clear! I closed my eyes, I’m so afraid to look at him.
—And Len’s answer is…?!
To be continued.